Showing posts with label fake news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fake news. Show all posts
Saturday, March 14, 2009
How to lose weight...or maybe not
Hello, my name is Mike Conners...Today ladies and gentlemen I would like to offer to you extreamly valuable information on how to lose weight...and if your desires take you to this point, build muscle. As summer is fast approaching you young men and women out there are frantic thinking "oh no, summer, pool, beach, less and less clothes, but I need to get in shape, I need to lose weight, I need to have that bikini body, I need to look chisled." Well I'm here to tell ya, its possible with my PROVEN system. (record scratch...) WHAT?!?!
I logged onto my AOL mail today and heard what I love hearing, what makes me feel so popular, that deep voice saying "You've got mail" (refer to chain letters to see just how excited I get when I hear "You've got mail")and aside from the normal banter from my mom, the "hey honey, I love you" from my wife, "your rent is due" from my landlord and the million and one chain letters (again refer to previous post "chain letters" for a more detailed explination of how PISSED OFF I get with these type of emails) there was another one that pissed me off EVEN MORE than chain letters (for those of you who are up to speed on the deep hate I have for chain letters I know its hard to believe that something could piss me off more but, it did). Someone trying to SELL me useless crap...We have all heard it, maybe you have been duped into buying one of these programs or miracle supplements that will guarantee you will lose 350 pounds of fat by tomorrow at 3:42 PM Eastern Standard Time or some such non sense.
Well suffice it to say I am ringing my BS alarm on this one (you can all feel free to ring yours too if you have one if not I would highly recommend investing in one...it comes in handy and its a fun gift idea)...First of all if you weigh enough that you need to lose 350 pounds aint nothing gonna help you (for you english teachers out there, the incorrect grammer was on purpose for emPHsis...yes I know I did it and I already have my red pen ready to roll) except a treadmill and a set of dumb bells and MAYBE a crunch or two (strong focus on the MAYBE)...Secondly, if you think that you can lose weight and be "in the best shape of your life" by tomorrow at 3:42 PM Eastern Standard Time you should probably re-evaluate your thought process (it will be AT LEAST 3:42 PM Pacific Standard Time to lose that amount of weight).
Where is he going with this? May be a question you are asking yourselves at about this point in time. Well good question my avid blog readers/followers, if you can come up with an answer to that question, please feel free to let me know, becuase I honestly can hardly come up with an answer myself.
I guess my point is, DONT I repeat DO NOT buy any of this crap, the ONLY way you are going to get in shape is healty diet and exercise, and for this you do not need any miracle pill, miracle diet, or anything of the like. You will not lose weight over night, you will not be in the best shape of your life in a week, month maybe even a year, it takes time, it takes patience. If you want to waste your money on something, invest in a personal trainer or a nutritionalist. But eat healthy, exercise regularly and you will be hot in no time...that is if you have the potential to be hot in the first place...I mean some people no matter how much they work out just dont have the correct structure to be 'hot'...in fact some people i look at and just go 'eww'...but I digress...
For those of you who are saying "Mike, your an idiot"...you my friends are correct, I am an idiot.
Hope this blog was somewhat useful to you even though my main intent was to be sarcastic, if you found some use out of it, that is just fucking skippy! Have a good day my friends in wellness...Have a great time on your 'fit for life journey' I shall see you on the other side...
For now, be true to yourself...others and...haha who am I kidding?
Comment, subscribe, favorite me on technorati...I made it easy for you, click the button on the top of my side bar if you dont have an account, create one, its fast, easy, free and fun for the whole family...check out my videos on YouTube www.youtube.com/mconnersproductions I could use the views...
Are you ready for it? Here it comes...THATS WHAT I TALKIN BOUT WILLIS! see ya bye!
I logged onto my AOL mail today and heard what I love hearing, what makes me feel so popular, that deep voice saying "You've got mail" (refer to chain letters to see just how excited I get when I hear "You've got mail")and aside from the normal banter from my mom, the "hey honey, I love you" from my wife, "your rent is due" from my landlord and the million and one chain letters (again refer to previous post "chain letters" for a more detailed explination of how PISSED OFF I get with these type of emails) there was another one that pissed me off EVEN MORE than chain letters (for those of you who are up to speed on the deep hate I have for chain letters I know its hard to believe that something could piss me off more but, it did). Someone trying to SELL me useless crap...We have all heard it, maybe you have been duped into buying one of these programs or miracle supplements that will guarantee you will lose 350 pounds of fat by tomorrow at 3:42 PM Eastern Standard Time or some such non sense.
Well suffice it to say I am ringing my BS alarm on this one (you can all feel free to ring yours too if you have one if not I would highly recommend investing in one...it comes in handy and its a fun gift idea)...First of all if you weigh enough that you need to lose 350 pounds aint nothing gonna help you (for you english teachers out there, the incorrect grammer was on purpose for emPHsis...yes I know I did it and I already have my red pen ready to roll) except a treadmill and a set of dumb bells and MAYBE a crunch or two (strong focus on the MAYBE)...Secondly, if you think that you can lose weight and be "in the best shape of your life" by tomorrow at 3:42 PM Eastern Standard Time you should probably re-evaluate your thought process (it will be AT LEAST 3:42 PM Pacific Standard Time to lose that amount of weight).
Where is he going with this? May be a question you are asking yourselves at about this point in time. Well good question my avid blog readers/followers, if you can come up with an answer to that question, please feel free to let me know, becuase I honestly can hardly come up with an answer myself.
I guess my point is, DONT I repeat DO NOT buy any of this crap, the ONLY way you are going to get in shape is healty diet and exercise, and for this you do not need any miracle pill, miracle diet, or anything of the like. You will not lose weight over night, you will not be in the best shape of your life in a week, month maybe even a year, it takes time, it takes patience. If you want to waste your money on something, invest in a personal trainer or a nutritionalist. But eat healthy, exercise regularly and you will be hot in no time...that is if you have the potential to be hot in the first place...I mean some people no matter how much they work out just dont have the correct structure to be 'hot'...in fact some people i look at and just go 'eww'...but I digress...
For those of you who are saying "Mike, your an idiot"...you my friends are correct, I am an idiot.
Hope this blog was somewhat useful to you even though my main intent was to be sarcastic, if you found some use out of it, that is just fucking skippy! Have a good day my friends in wellness...Have a great time on your 'fit for life journey' I shall see you on the other side...
For now, be true to yourself...others and...haha who am I kidding?
Comment, subscribe, favorite me on technorati...I made it easy for you, click the button on the top of my side bar if you dont have an account, create one, its fast, easy, free and fun for the whole family...check out my videos on YouTube www.youtube.com/mconnersproductions I could use the views...
Are you ready for it? Here it comes...THATS WHAT I TALKIN BOUT WILLIS! see ya bye!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Woman upset about butt implants (rightfully so!)
Hey guys, dont really have much to say about this one...The video pretty much speaks for itself...Check out my videos...comment...subscribe...check my website www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com and check out my YouTube page www.youtube.com/mconnersproductions...Thats what I talkin bout Willis!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Kool Aid in 20 oz bottles
Of all the things in life that puzzle me, this has to be at the top of the list.
Why haven't the makers of Kool-Aid marketed this wonderful product in 20 oz. Bottles?
When you go to your local convenient store, in thirst of a quenching beverage after a long-hard "whatever", you have several options.
Soft drinks don't go down smooth enough. Water doesn't provide stimulation to one's taste buds. The other "fruit" drinks feel they have to mix cranberry/melon/strawberry/apple and grape juice in some awful blend.
Kool-Aid always tastes good. I always have a jug of Kool-Aid in the "Mikey-C Fridge". You get back to the basics. Grape, Cherry, Orange, Strawberry, whatever. It's one friggin' flavor, and it's sweet...unlike water. And almost good for you, unlike soda.
The only containers of Kool-Aid come in like 8 oz. "Kool-Aid Bursts" bottles. Something that wouldn't even satisfy a First-Grader. It's an outrage.
Gatorade is the closet thing to Kool-Aid. It's like they were gonna make a 2 Quart jug of Kool-Aid, but you only had 1/2 cup sugar, so you just said, "Screw it, we'll make it anyway."
Investors need to contact Kool-Aid with this problem. There's a market for Kool-Aid in the 20 oz. Bottle. I want 10%.
Dont forget to check out my website...www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com...check my videos...subscribe...comment...do yo thang...videos updated every Saturday...check back often...
Thats what I talkin bout Willis!
Why haven't the makers of Kool-Aid marketed this wonderful product in 20 oz. Bottles?
When you go to your local convenient store, in thirst of a quenching beverage after a long-hard "whatever", you have several options.
Soft drinks don't go down smooth enough. Water doesn't provide stimulation to one's taste buds. The other "fruit" drinks feel they have to mix cranberry/melon/strawberry/apple and grape juice in some awful blend.
Kool-Aid always tastes good. I always have a jug of Kool-Aid in the "Mikey-C Fridge". You get back to the basics. Grape, Cherry, Orange, Strawberry, whatever. It's one friggin' flavor, and it's sweet...unlike water. And almost good for you, unlike soda.
The only containers of Kool-Aid come in like 8 oz. "Kool-Aid Bursts" bottles. Something that wouldn't even satisfy a First-Grader. It's an outrage.
Gatorade is the closet thing to Kool-Aid. It's like they were gonna make a 2 Quart jug of Kool-Aid, but you only had 1/2 cup sugar, so you just said, "Screw it, we'll make it anyway."
Investors need to contact Kool-Aid with this problem. There's a market for Kool-Aid in the 20 oz. Bottle. I want 10%.
Dont forget to check out my website...www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com...check my videos...subscribe...comment...do yo thang...videos updated every Saturday...check back often...
Thats what I talkin bout Willis!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Chain Letters
So, I signed into my AOL email today and heard that voice saying "you've got mail", I like that voice, it give me a feeling of "hey people like me." So all excited that I have mail, I look at the screen that tells me how many new messages I have. It says 103. Wow 103 new emails, people must REALLY like me. So now Im REALLY excited, I can't wait to open up my mailbox. So I do just that. After opening my mailbox I take a second to scroll down thru the 103 new messages to get an idea of who they are from and what they are about. The further I go down the list the more my excitment disipates. Out of 103 emails all but 2 of them are chain letters. The other 2 were from my mom.
"Forward this to 10 people within the next 10 minutes and a message will pop up on your screen telling you your one true love, if you do not foward it you will have a bad love life for the next 10 years." Come on are people REALLY that dumb that they think becuase you send it to 10 people your computer is going to not only realize that you have sent it to 10 people but it is then going to magically become a wizard and predict who the love of your life will be. BUT if you do not send it to atleast 10 people in 10 minutes your computer will know that too, and boy let me tell you what, you do not want to be on the recieving end of the wrath from your computer, becuase it will curse you with a bad love life for 10 years. Computers can apparently do a lot of things, it can make the love of your life call you, it can make you money, it can make you popular. But it can also give you bad luck. Boy my computer is powerful!
I have now started my own chain letter. This is what it says.
You have been hit with this bs chain letter. Send it to 10 people in the next 10 minutes and ab-so-fucking-lutely nothing will happen!
I hate chain letters and I would greatly appreciate it if you didnt send them to me and give me a false excitement that people ACTUALLY want to talk to me about something reasonable. This is a simple request. Please abide by it.
Check back for my next blog updates, don't forget to check me out on Youtube, updated every Saturday with a NEW video. comment, subscribe. Check out my website http://www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com/. Updated videos, About me, Members, Guest Book. Check it out!
Thats what I talkin about Willis!
"Forward this to 10 people within the next 10 minutes and a message will pop up on your screen telling you your one true love, if you do not foward it you will have a bad love life for the next 10 years." Come on are people REALLY that dumb that they think becuase you send it to 10 people your computer is going to not only realize that you have sent it to 10 people but it is then going to magically become a wizard and predict who the love of your life will be. BUT if you do not send it to atleast 10 people in 10 minutes your computer will know that too, and boy let me tell you what, you do not want to be on the recieving end of the wrath from your computer, becuase it will curse you with a bad love life for 10 years. Computers can apparently do a lot of things, it can make the love of your life call you, it can make you money, it can make you popular. But it can also give you bad luck. Boy my computer is powerful!
I have now started my own chain letter. This is what it says.
You have been hit with this bs chain letter. Send it to 10 people in the next 10 minutes and ab-so-fucking-lutely nothing will happen!
I hate chain letters and I would greatly appreciate it if you didnt send them to me and give me a false excitement that people ACTUALLY want to talk to me about something reasonable. This is a simple request. Please abide by it.
Check back for my next blog updates, don't forget to check me out on Youtube, updated every Saturday with a NEW video. comment, subscribe. Check out my website http://www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com/. Updated videos, About me, Members, Guest Book. Check it out!
Thats what I talkin about Willis!
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