Saturday, February 7, 2009

How Dumb Can One Get?




So get this...This lady was on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and after this aired her family and friends I'm sure are VERY proud!

Her name is Kathy Evans from Idaho...She is 32 years old and a wife and mother of 2...she got stuck on the VERY FIRST QUESTION and as if it wasn't bad enough (wait until you HEAR the question), she used all her life lines. Heres how it played out.

The question: Which of the following is the largest?

A: A Peanut
B: An Elephant
C: The Moon
D: Hey, Who you callin large?

Her response: "hmm oh boy, thats a toughie....I mean Im sure Ive heard of some of these before, but I have no idea how large they would be."...

Are you SHITTING me? It gets better...

She chooses her 50/50 and A and D are removed leaving B and C. She says "OH! it removed the ones I was leaning toward. Darn I had better phone a friend". She contacted her friend Betsy using her 2nd life line Betsy proceeded to tell her it was B...Mrs Evans then declined to take her friends advise saying "I just dont think I can trust Betsy shes not all that bright."

Who is the one that is not all that bright dear?

She then uses her 3rd and LAST life line asking the audience...and as you may guess the audience says the moon.

She STILL doesn't believe its the moon and answers an elephant.

I don't know which moon or elephant your familiar with Mrs. Evans but hopefully dad helps the children with homework.

This just leads me to pose one question...How Dumb Can One Get?

This one is EVEN better...





No commentary necessary except...How Dumb Can One Get?

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Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Real men iron their T-shirts

I know I'm a little different. I think a little more deeply than a lot of people. But in the case of ironing T-Shirts, I thought I was pretty normal.

That is until I was asked, "You iron your T-Shirts?"

Are you serious? A freshly ironed T-Shirt can only be outdone in "Man-Satisfaction" in comparison with a "Fresh Hair-Cut". (For the "Ebonically-Challenged", that means a "hair-cut that was just completed by a trained professional.")

This person claimed most folks "throw their T-Shirts in the dryer."

Personally, I never dry my T-Shirts in the dryer, it causes them to shrink. I buy L when it comes to T-Shirts, and I take their fitting very seriously.

When removing T-Shirts from the wash, a responsible Jedi Knight knows he must hang the T-Shirt immediatley on a plastic hanger. After placing the T-Shirt on the hanger, he must position the hanger in the opening of a nearby doorway. (ex. Find a door that's opened and hang the T-Shirt IN the doorway. The closet is the most ideal fit.)

After the T-Shirt drys, it retains it's original L size and you don't look like one of those Abercrombie and Fitch boys who are trying to show off the muscles they don't really have. Tight shirts just aren't cool anymore.

Before wearing the T-Shirt, one must perfect the creases in its arms, and remove all wrinkles by IRONING the T-Shirt. This look says, "Hey Ladies, I'm responsible enough to care about my appearance, so I took time to iron my T-Shirt. If I TAKE TIME to iron my T-Shirt, imagine what else I take time with. I also have the "loose fit" appearance that a lot of today's rappers possess, therefore I'm "down".

Dont forget to check my Website www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com. check out my videos...updated often so check back...subscribe...comment...do yo thang!

Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Kool Aid in 20 oz bottles

Of all the things in life that puzzle me, this has to be at the top of the list.


Why haven't the makers of Kool-Aid marketed this wonderful product in 20 oz. Bottles?

When you go to your local convenient store, in thirst of a quenching beverage after a long-hard "whatever", you have several options.

Soft drinks don't go down smooth enough. Water doesn't provide stimulation to one's taste buds. The other "fruit" drinks feel they have to mix cranberry/melon/strawberry/apple and grape juice in some awful blend.

Kool-Aid always tastes good. I always have a jug of Kool-Aid in the "Mikey-C Fridge". You get back to the basics. Grape, Cherry, Orange, Strawberry, whatever. It's one friggin' flavor, and it's sweet...unlike water. And almost good for you, unlike soda.

The only containers of Kool-Aid come in like 8 oz. "Kool-Aid Bursts" bottles. Something that wouldn't even satisfy a First-Grader. It's an outrage.

Gatorade is the closet thing to Kool-Aid. It's like they were gonna make a 2 Quart jug of Kool-Aid, but you only had 1/2 cup sugar, so you just said, "Screw it, we'll make it anyway."

Investors need to contact Kool-Aid with this problem. There's a market for Kool-Aid in the 20 oz. Bottle. I want 10%.

Dont forget to check out my website...www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com...check my videos...subscribe...comment...do yo thang...videos updated every Saturday...check back often...

Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

WUT IT DO?

I'm sure you've heard Paul Wall toss this "greeting" out countless times before. Not only is it grammatically incorrect, it sounds stupid as hell, and it makes no logical sense. For example: If I'm meeting you for the first time, and offer you a handshake and the greeting "Wut it do?", how am I supposed to know what "it" is? If we don't have a grasp on what "it" is, how can you provide the information of what "it" is doing? Therefore, this phrase has been banned from Mike Conners vocab---and the Planet Earth as well. I actually took a poll one nite (in my head) and it was in unanimous agreement. If you hear someone uttering the phrase "Wut it do" please take a moment to report the violator to me by email. Thank you for your cooperation.

I know I'm a little late on this but the song "About us" came on the radio today and I was listening to it...



Don't forget to check out my site...check my videos page...updated every Saturday with lots of cool stuff...comment, subscribe, come back often...have fun.



Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

AAAH Sleep!

Ahhh....I got to sleep in late today. Have you ever slept in late before? Did you wake up early, while you were sleeping late? Cuz that happened to me as well. I was like, "Damn, here I am waking up early, while I'm sleeping late." Do you ever read certain sentences you've written, and laugh out loud because you think you're so funny? I do. Happens all the time. Let's see if I can spell the word "necessary" today. Yep, that's it. No need to even look it up to double-check. Although, I'm confident a few readers WILL look it up, in hopes to catch me in the wrong, and rub it in my face. But I'm quite confident that's not gonna happen here.

Don't forget to check out my page www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com...learn about me...check out my videos page...videos posted every Saturday...and a bunch of other cool stuff...comment subscribe...have fun!

Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Monday, February 2, 2009

MUTE!

If you choose to have a conversation with me via telephone, we're gonna have to cover the groundrules.I'm not interested in your need to show off your latest cool, new, rap CD that's blaring in the background. I'm not gonna find you the slightest bit more interesting if your "Head spins round right round when you go down when you go down." TURN the damn radio OFF. And if you choose to leave your radio ON, turn the volume ALL THE WAY DOWN, so I can hear NO music in the background. I've already taken the appropriate measures to ensure you receive the same superstar treatment when calling me.
It's a matter of respect. If I'm gonna take time out of my life to include you, make me a top priority as well; and don't force me to compete with your favorite rapper as we shout, "Huh? What'd you say?" back and forth. Same thing with the television---hit the MUTE button. It's simple and it's fun. It'll also burn more calories, which will help you look and feel better.Thank you in advance.

Check out my website www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com you will find updated videos and a bunch of other cool stuff...comment, subscribe, have fun!

Thats what I talkin bout Willis!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Chain Letters

So, I signed into my AOL email today and heard that voice saying "you've got mail", I like that voice, it give me a feeling of "hey people like me." So all excited that I have mail, I look at the screen that tells me how many new messages I have. It says 103. Wow 103 new emails, people must REALLY like me. So now Im REALLY excited, I can't wait to open up my mailbox. So I do just that. After opening my mailbox I take a second to scroll down thru the 103 new messages to get an idea of who they are from and what they are about. The further I go down the list the more my excitment disipates. Out of 103 emails all but 2 of them are chain letters. The other 2 were from my mom.

"Forward this to 10 people within the next 10 minutes and a message will pop up on your screen telling you your one true love, if you do not foward it you will have a bad love life for the next 10 years." Come on are people REALLY that dumb that they think becuase you send it to 10 people your computer is going to not only realize that you have sent it to 10 people but it is then going to magically become a wizard and predict who the love of your life will be. BUT if you do not send it to atleast 10 people in 10 minutes your computer will know that too, and boy let me tell you what, you do not want to be on the recieving end of the wrath from your computer, becuase it will curse you with a bad love life for 10 years. Computers can apparently do a lot of things, it can make the love of your life call you, it can make you money, it can make you popular. But it can also give you bad luck. Boy my computer is powerful!

I have now started my own chain letter. This is what it says.

You have been hit with this bs chain letter. Send it to 10 people in the next 10 minutes and ab-so-fucking-lutely nothing will happen!

I hate chain letters and I would greatly appreciate it if you didnt send them to me and give me a false excitement that people ACTUALLY want to talk to me about something reasonable. This is a simple request. Please abide by it.

Check back for my next blog updates, don't forget to check me out on Youtube, updated every Saturday with a NEW video. comment, subscribe. Check out my website http://www.mikeconnersproductions.webs.com/. Updated videos, About me, Members, Guest Book. Check it out!

Thats what I talkin about Willis!